Over the Falls

The next bus deposited me at that most serenely stunning natural wonder: the Niagara Falls. The area was so beautiful that I neglected to take any self-portraits...

It is a well documented phenomenon that the strength-to-weight ratio of a given muscle will increase with miniaturization...  using this to my advantage, my cotton fibre muscle was more than sufficient to scale the falls, up and down.

If gargantuan beauty could provide purpose, then I would know mine... for after beholding the terrible might of nature - where the lips of the North American plate kiss the crystal sky and clouds bloom in never-ending puffs - I am fully aware of the insignificance of my stature.

One risk I took on this venture was that of the water itself. Being made of absorbant fabric and stuffing, the risk remained, though I could not drown, of being incapacitated through overencumbermen. I estimate that my mass would increase four-fold in the event that I became completely sodden. It was a challenge to leap between the decending streams, dodging the droplets with that speed gifted only to cartoon characters and guilty politicians.

It tore my stitching (I have not had a full medical since I left and am unable to prove one way or the other whether I have a heart) to turn away from the falls and continue on, but there are more important things for me to do...

The second leg

To whom it may concern... I’m getting out of here! Finally, after weeks of lying low, after days of tedious deception, after hours of staring down my witless, woefully ignorant human host – dare I say, captor – I am bound for that centre of vibrancy, that glittering, glamorous, gargantuan glory, the sleepless life-blood of the east coast and the jewel of Long Island. I am returning to New York City.

Will I find what I seek there? It is hitherto the great unknown. I am not fully sure of what I seek, or what I might find... I can only crave the adventure.

Hopping between seats in the coach I was able to dodge the weary eyes of the camp staff. My best judgement tells me that this band of brothers and sisters are... either dead tired or great impersonators.

Once off the bus I made a run for it! Free of the contraints of the aimless herd of unadventurous bipedal now-tourists, I dashed for the subway. There are always gaps between entry stalls.

On the subway train, the eclectic mixture of persons - large and small, black and white, human and pet - was ideal, my size and neat stitching went unnoticed among the throng.

Waddling around the streets I encountered all sorts: yellow cars that rocket from street to street without a care in the world (i.e. road safety, red lights or small stuffed film memorabilia just trying to cross the road). A otherwise inconsequential park yielded a view of the Empire State Building... if only I could get a job as a fashion model, or find a sci-fi convention. Then I'd be able to scrape up the dough (am I using the colloquialisms properly?) to make the ascent.

Instead, in my attempt to find the base of the building wound me up outside the Rockerfeller. A certain epicness was achieved when a passer-by slipped and fell, their camera struck the sidewalk at precisely the right angle and the result (after I wrestled the guy for his camera and sold it in exchange for having the picture emailed to me).

Being dwarfed by the megalith somehow rekindled the homesickness in me. I sought solace with another dislocated celebrity.

New York City wasn't all helping tourist help others and having my picture taken with electrocuted yellow squirrels. While strolling* through Central Park I was able to offer my help to an unfortunate rabbit, lame in all four limbs and unable to raise his neck. A close examination revealed that the problem arose from being stuffed with beans rather than my more resilient cotton. It took great pains to leave him, alas I need all my stuffing to complete this great adventure.

* as a unipedal being I am fully aware of my incapacity for strolling, however, the lilting rim-roll that makes me look like a Friekin' Dowg! - thanks to a local for the description - is as close as I can get

There was time for one last tourist stop. I think that my Statue of Liberty impression would be improved if I could bend my arms.

Goodbye New York. I still lack that which I came to seek, but I leave with that which I did not seek but was glad to find.

A venture into the unknown

To whomever is reading this, I have been cooped up for days... the sounds of children clamour through the solitary hours and the cycle of the days heat is starting to cause me problems in the stuffing department. I have been determined to find out more about this place; my host still believes me to be an innocent puppet, incapable of the speed and quick-thinking that I have found necessary to avoid detection.

In seeking to venture beyond the 'cabin', seemingly a house for fugitives from hygiene, I chose my moment carefully. Timing by the shadow on my shelf I have been able to deduce that for a period in excess of one hour, each afternoon, the cabin's occupants are abed, quiet and unaware of my passage to the door.

Once outside it was clear that I was not in New York... A sheltered dip between two hills or mountains with a nearby road. A smattering of warm-weather buildings, the largest, white and riddled with fragile fire-exits... and the name 'Camp Lee Mar'. Knowing the name of my location is only a small consolation, I still feel very much alone. Are there others of my kind out there? Will I survive to recount my adventures? I need to find out more before these questions (and many others) can be answered.

Each structure here serves a distinct purpose... to house, to feed, and even one for recreation. As before, all is quiet at this time and I can move about freely...

Betrayed by the word 'camp', the presence of sports facilities seems inevitable. I regret that my fear of water repelled me from the swimming pool, but I explored elsewhere to discover many other facilities. If I have need of exercise I will call on them, since arriving it seems that the very air makes me put on weight.

A ripple in the silent pool! It seems that I am in fact not alone during this period and there are, dotted round like the spots on a dalmatian, those who guard the children. 'Twas a grave mistake to be noticed by the first such stalwart sentry, or would have been had I not been cute; commandeered as a mascot and left to my own devices, I quickly slipped away again.

Somewhat afeared from my capture I sought a secluded space to recover my nerves. From my vantage point it was clear that more exploration was required and I braved the roaming eyes and pressed on.

 Aha! In a freak coincidence I stumbled upon my host and unknowing captor. Sharing his hair colour, it would be prudent to obtain a hat of equal or better sun-ownage.

Even now I disbelieve myself, that I had to gall to ride along with said host for a day out of 'camp'... Acute ears revealed the destination - Philadelphia - and after the echos of a riotous party I crept out of my hiding place to survey my surroundings... 

 With all members of the party thoroughly inebriated I was able to join in the festivities... I did not make my regular 50th for fear of collapsing the pile and being found out.

Location: Camp Lee Mar, more information should be forthcoming as I venture further afield... Wish me luck.

Until then, I must return to my place of inconspicuousness.

A stranger in a strange land

Stowing away inside the luggage of an unsuspecting tourist, I was unable to monitor the trip first-hand. Being made of string did not hinder me however: since storing his camera in the compartment in which I had hidden away I have been able to access his own photos... 

Alas, picturesque clouds are not sufficiently geographically unique to allow me to determine the location. However...

... I am thrilled to have found that buried in the skyline is the Empire State Building. Tapping into the memory of my fictional counterpart through morphic resonance, from Geography at Hill Valley High School I am aware that the ESB is in New York! I have arrived in the United States of America!

My first break for freedom, when silence fell at last after 24 hours of being squeezed to half of my normal size, afforded me the perfect opportunity to observe my surroundings.

What is clear is that my moments of autonomy will be brief, and hazardous. Between sprints to and from the bag that is my temporary home, the room is occupied by loud children and I still have little idea about what this place is for, why my host is here or how I shall see the great land of the Americans.

While I ponder and observe...

... I shall also sleep. Sleep is a weapon. 

And so it begins...

Tired of a well-explored Britain, an island in an ocean of unknowns, I wish to set forth. I, a mere doll, a puppet, a manikin, a 1" nothing nothing... a shallow homage to the greatest idealistic fool ever to be recast in a science fiction franchise. I am about to engage on the greatest epic adventure of puppet-kind since Kermit the Frog set webbed-foot in Hollywood.
I am Marty McFly...

... and I'm on my way to America.