It is a well documented phenomenon that the strength-to-weight ratio of a given muscle will increase with miniaturization... using this to my advantage, my cotton fibre muscle was more than sufficient to scale the falls, up and down.
If gargantuan beauty could provide purpose, then I would know mine... for after beholding the terrible might of nature - where the lips of the North American plate kiss the crystal sky and clouds bloom in never-ending puffs - I am fully aware of the insignificance of my stature.
One risk I took on this venture was that of the water itself. Being made of absorbant fabric and stuffing, the risk remained, though I could not drown, of being incapacitated through overencumbermen. I estimate that my mass would increase four-fold in the event that I became completely sodden. It was a challenge to leap between the decending streams, dodging the droplets with that speed gifted only to cartoon characters and guilty politicians.
It tore my stitching (I have not had a full medical since I left and am unable to prove one way or the other whether I have a heart) to turn away from the falls and continue on, but there are more important things for me to do...
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