To whom it may concern... I’m getting out of here! Finally, after weeks of lying low, after days of tedious deception, after hours of staring down my witless, woefully ignorant human host – dare I say, captor – I am bound for that centre of vibrancy, that glittering, glamorous, gargantuan glory, the sleepless life-blood of the east coast and the jewel of Long Island. I am returning to New York City.
Will I find what I seek there? It is hitherto the great unknown. I am not fully sure of what I seek, or what I might find... I can only crave the adventure.
Hopping between seats in the coach I was able to dodge the weary eyes of the camp staff. My best judgement tells me that this band of brothers and sisters are... either dead tired or great impersonators.
Once off the bus I made a run for it! Free of the contraints of the aimless herd of unadventurous bipedal now-tourists, I dashed for the subway. There are always gaps between entry stalls.
On the subway train, the eclectic mixture of persons - large and small, black and white, human and pet - was ideal, my size and neat stitching went unnoticed among the throng.
Waddling around the streets I encountered all sorts: yellow cars that rocket from street to street without a care in the world (i.e. road safety, red lights or small stuffed film memorabilia just trying to cross the road). A otherwise inconsequential park yielded a view of the Empire State Building... if only I could get a job as a fashion model, or find a sci-fi convention. Then I'd be able to scrape up the dough (am I using the colloquialisms properly?) to make the ascent.
Instead, in my attempt to find the base of the building wound me up outside the Rockerfeller. A certain epicness was achieved when a passer-by slipped and fell, their camera struck the sidewalk at precisely the right angle and the result (after I wrestled the guy for his camera and sold it in exchange for having the picture emailed to me).
Being dwarfed by the megalith somehow rekindled the homesickness in me. I sought solace with another dislocated celebrity.
New York City wasn't all helping tourist help others and having my picture taken with electrocuted yellow squirrels. While strolling* through Central Park I was able to offer my help to an unfortunate rabbit, lame in all four limbs and unable to raise his neck. A close examination revealed that the problem arose from being stuffed with beans rather than my more resilient cotton. It took great pains to leave him, alas I need all my stuffing to complete this great adventure.
* as a unipedal being I am fully aware of my incapacity for strolling, however, the lilting rim-roll that makes me look like a Friekin' Dowg! - thanks to a local for the description - is as close as I can get
There was time for one last tourist stop. I think that my Statue of Liberty impression would be improved if I could bend my arms.
Goodbye New York. I still lack that which I came to seek, but I leave with that which I did not seek but was glad to find.
